Many of you know me from my Disney travel blog. Today, however, I am writing as a concerned citizen of Rochester Hills. Since I started blogging on the Rochester Patch about a month ago, I’ve become increasingly distressed by the way we as a community are interacting with each other on this site. We are all neighbors, yet we are treating each other like trash. Over and over again, in the "comments section" of various blogs and articles, people are being insensitive and downright cruel to each other. I’ve observed this animosity extending even to the most benign topics, like downtown eateries and vacation destinations.
Perhaps I am just an idealist, but I simply cannot comprehend the disdain and blatant disregard for other people's feelings that is being continuously spewed in these comments. As neighbors and fellow human beings, we should be supportive and respectful of each other. The exchange of ideas is crucial in any community; however, we can and should disagree without being hateful and insulting.
This site provides a unique opportunity for citizens to share their expertise, opinions, and stories. When we treat each other so abhorrently, however, we defeat this purpose entirely. I think it is important to remember that we are all people with feelings. We are parents, teachers, doctors, nurses, college students, police officers, firefighters, and small business owners. We all have families and friends who we love and who love us in return. We all are somebody’s wife, husband, daughter, son, mother, father, aunt, uncle, or friend. Rochester-Rochester Hills is an amazing area in which to live. Let's do it justice. Let’s be role models for our children. Let’s commit to being civil to one another, let’s stand up to those who refuse, and let’s live up to the meaning of the words "neighbor" and "citizen”.
Let's hope that if enough people continue to practice common courtesy and respect, others will follow.
I also know that this is not going to stop. People are always going to be cruel. However, if we (as a community) decide that this is not how we want to represent ourselves and we stand up to those who continue to make vicious comments, perhaps we can make a small change.
Well written and a great request to be civil. I have been blogging on the Patch for almost a year now and like you have been amazed of the attacks on people from other citizens. Most come from the false names that people set up to spew their hate. I believe if we all post our real names, fill out our profiles so we can understand who we are having a conversation with and understand their background and perspective leads to a meaningful dialog. Due to the controversial subjects I choose to blog and discuss the personal attacks were a surprise at first, then I realized it is from people with hidden agendas and are afraid. Keep up the blogging and ignore the people who act childish, they will eventually give up because they just become meaningless noise and add nothing to the conversation.
Like you, after a month or so of blogging on the Patch I wrote a piece about how I see this forum as the "water cooler" at a company. People come together to get some water and have a conversation. In the workplace we all know each other and have their background adding insight to the discussion and opinions. On the Patch, the ones that hide behind a false name spew hate and insults at a much higher rate. This rarely happens at the "water cooler", however, sometimes the "water cooler" discussions get intense. We all need to control ourselves and be civil, I strongly agree with your request. In this cyber work environment I enjoy the chance to have these "water cooler" discussions on my breaks from work. We all need to keep it civil.
"Scot, As usual, you spew lots of misinformation and do not even read the post and comment on what it is about. You add nothing to the conversation; as usual you are just meaningless noise and attack anyone who has a different opinion than you. Are you going to do your normal trick and add some picture to the post and just keep posting many words on false info and not on subject? You are just making a fool of yourself, stop emailing me and just go away." Daryl, remember that comment about glass houses?
You are a usual false name person, spew some statements that have no basis nor tell the whole story. My dialog with Scot was asking him to stop emailing me with hate emails with plenty of false accusations. I did this by email many times, he would not stop, and then I made my request publically. He had many personal attacks on my comments and I responded with your statement above, I was defending myself from his attacks. The good news is he has stopped, which was my only request. Now you enter the scene as a false name making accusations without any facts. Come out of hiding and have an adult conversation.
Kristin Bull Editor Rochester Patch --my opinion, We are very lucky to have her as an editor of our community online newspaper. Happy Holidays Kristin, I look forward to the Rochester Patch next year! Pseudonym posts, Meredith I hope the Patch will never mandate full exposure to those who take the time to express a fact or an opinion. There are hundreds of reasons, I own my own business, I have nothing to lose except a future advertising client. But others maybe not so lucky -- full disclosures could cost them their job. Just one of those 'hundreds of reasons.' Personally I respect all opinions, only because I respect the constitution of the United States of America. Name Calling -- Meredith my opinion, we're all adults the maturity level varies... but that's what great about the Patch. A great example... When one posts a "right-wing" opinion that sounds identical to something Shawn Hannity would say; and my personal comeback to that comment is... "WOW I tittle you the "Shawn Hannity' of Rochester." And their response are words like you are the town fool or your comments are meaningless noise and add nothing to the conversation. Meredith who is the adult that shows the 'maturity' in that conversation?
Meredith, when Al Gore invented the internet... LOL, one very important point he left out... not everything you read is true! A great example... When one doesn't first take the time to even read the Rochester Hills or OPC budgets, and then compares them to the mismanagement of the municipal budgets of Detroit or Pontiac and then proclaim Rochester Hills is on a fast tract to going out of business... I take a personal affront to the outstanding fiscal management of our dedicated employees at city hall. As a former council member... still very proud of our community and its municipal employees -- those who published insulting misinformation; I will continue to call them out on it with the utmost civility. Meredith, thanks for the post -- one final note if the Patch was a laundry list of kumbaya moments and thoughts it would be boring. Happy Holidays to all thanks for all your posts.
Thanks for your comments. Honestly, though, I'm a little confused about them. I'm not sure exactly who they were directed at. I completely agree that everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I said in my post that the exchange of ideas is crucial in any community. We most certainly don't have to agree on every issue, nor should we. I was just appalled by some of the more egregious examples of degradation and name-calling that were occurring on The Patch (telling somebody that they should weigh themselves before eating out or accusing people of not caring about their children because they have a differing opinion). Common courtesy and humility is not boring; it's essential to a civilized society. That's all I was saying.
For me, it comes down to this: I have much more respect for those readers who post comments that are civil and mature, regardless of whether they use their real names. For example, I don't know who "doug" is, but I have come to know that when he comments on something, it's not without reason or respect for the conversation at hand. Thanks, Scot, by the way, for the holiday well-wishes; right back at you.
Great post, Meredith, on how incivility makes online forums and comment areas seem like free-fire zones. We shouldn't need the body armor of thick skins to visit and participate. Journalists refer to reader interaction as "engagement," so I join you, Patricia, Pat, Michele and Cathy in hoping more participants see respect as being among the rules of engagement.
Merry Christmas. Happy Hanukkah.
P.S. I'll make a personal effort to work on my clarity... Happy Holidays!
I must say you and the Patch have always been more than fair and balanced in handling the many comments and blogs that take place on this site. We appreciate your diligence in keeping this open for all to comment. I also have seen you close down some threads because they just turn nasty, I agreed with all of those actions. An observation I have made, I have drawn a conclusion, but maybe I am wrong. When I see a single name, like "Bertram" that commented on my post earlier, I click the name and there is only one comment they have made. I draw the conclusion that someone just made that up to hide behind this false name and make a comment. Then we will not see them again, so it was a onetime hit, a hidden agenda by someone who is trying to discredit others with the sense of many. I have seen this dynamic many times in the last year. I find that odd, any insight? I do agree many others with one name and no profiles, like "doug", are civil and add meaningful comments. Many others do not, and the Patch has the right policy of keeping it open. I personally will ask some to come out of hiding if they just attack, but that is my approach.
Daryl... don't have a clue were you are coming from you have my permission to post these alleged hateful emails I sent you. Also when you have time post the email I sent you where I complimented you on your writing skills. Still waiting... false accusations with a fellow Rochester Hills resident is not a good thing if you are at all interested in retaining any credibility... if you know what I mean.
Of course, this is just my opinion. Of course, everyone is entitled to free speech and can post whatever they want. I just think that we've lost sight of how to engage in respectful discourse. It is possible to state an opinion (whatever it is) without being rude and inflammatory. This isn't eternal optimism, nor is it a "kumbaya" moment. It's simply common courtesy. Thanks for everyone who took the time to read my post!
1. A person who never ceases to give up hope in something they believe. 2. A person who will continue to believe in something or a positive outcome till the end of time. Meredith -- now I'm confused I was posting a compliment something I thought you are well deserved. Happy Holidays