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The Circumcision Decision

Is your inner Mama Bear hungry for the 'whole' story?

Welcome to guest blogger Jenn D'Jamoos CCCE, Co-Director of Intact Michigan.  Jenn will be presenting the upcoming seminar 'The Circumcision Decision' on Mon. June 25 at Live With Awareness in downtown Rochester.  Her passion is to support families to discover fact based information to make an informed decision whether or not to choose circumcision.


I’m not going to lie.  I was a nervous wreck when we found out we were expecting.  I had several friends who all seemed to be navigating parenthood fairly well, but nobody I was really close to that shared with me all of the nervous discussions between couples in those last few weeks before the baby arrives.  I would have liked to know how to handle talks about vaccination, circumcision, breastfeeding, co-sleeping and all the really emotionally charged topics that new parents face today. 

When it comes to these sometimes volatile subjects, I discovered that most family and friends fall into one of two camps:  they don’t want to offend you by offering their perspective OR they really don’t care if they offend you by offering their opinion!  This made it difficult for me to get some honest-to-goodness objective information because frankly, you don’t know what you don’t know.  How was I supposed to know that there were risks to formula feeding?  Nobody told me that.  How was I supposed to know that circumcision had no proven benefits?  Nobody told me that either.  Vaccination?  Don’t even get me started.  To make a truly informed decision on behalf of my children, I needed more information than I was getting from my doctors and BabyCenter, but I didn’t realize this until well after we had our first child, a daughter.

Becoming a mother does this funny thing to you.  It makes you super protective of the little people you give birth to.  It’s called ‘finding your mama bear.’  Some mama’s find it when they are pregnant, others find it when they are in labor or giving birth, and yet others find it in the first days, weeks and months of their new life with baby. I realized at some point after having our daughter that protecting my children meant becoming an informed healthcare consumer; and that meant I would become a voracious learner. 

Becoming a mother again would give me another chance to put in my due diligence and this time, no stone was left unturned.  So, after we discovered that we were expecting a boy, I delved into the topic of circumcision.  What do you suppose I discovered?  Well, the long and short of it is . . . it’s terribly painful, it carries great risks and it takes away the most sensitive part of a boy’s/man’s body.  I could not fathom doing this to my son.  Alas, I needed to have “the talk” with my husband.  I approached him gently, praying that he would be receptive.  He asked if I could give him some time to look into the subject himself and I encouraged him to do so.  Some weeks went by and I nervously awaited his answer.  I knew in my heart that he would choose to keep our son intact, but I was still anxious to hear it from him.  He finally came to me and said that because it isn’t medically necessary we would not need to circumcise our boy.  PHEW!  That was easier than I thought.

For most parents, though, this decision isn’t that easy.  There is a lot of pressure from friends, family and even medical professionals to cut their baby boy.  But if you look at this topic from a worldly perspective, it doesn’t happen in Europe, or China, or Japan, or Central or South America.  It doesn’t happen in Russia or Iceland or India.  There are very few cultures that practice circumcision, but the ones that do have found ways to justify it.  It’s basically a solution looking for a problem.

There are many, many resources on the subject of circumcision and nowadays all you have to do to find a stimulating conversation about it is to hop on Facebook or any of the boards at a multitude of different parenting sites.  But, if you are a fan of science, you might be interested to know that there was a study done just a few years ago that revealed what exactly is taken from a boy/man when he is circumcised.  I understand that circumcision is a choice but this study made me understand why more and more parents are simply choosing to leave the choice to their son.  One other thing that I found comforting during my quest for the whole story about circumcision . . . there are doctors who are opposed to it, as well as nurses and lawyers.  These are all great places to begin your quest for knowledge.

There is so much more than this to know about circumcision.  Trust me when I tell you that YOUR inner mama bear is definitely hungry for the whole story!

_____________________________________________________________

Join other families this Monday, June 25 at 'The Circumcision Decision' seminar presented by Live With Awareness, located within Health & Healing Chiropractic, 226 Walnut Blvd, downtown Rochester.   Receive fact based information to help you with this timely and important parenting decision.  Click here to find a Calendar of Events with more info and how to register.

Some of what will be discussed:

-The Intact Penis - proper care
-History of Circumcision
-Medical Ethics and Informed Consent
-Circ methods, pain relief, risks, benefits
-Weighing out Pros and Cons
-Grieving and Loss
and MORE

.......An OPTIONAL video of a circumcision will be shown during class.

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Janice Rex-Weaver July 6, 2012 at 11:31 pm
Thank you so much everyone for your energy, input, passion and desire to educate others on your personal viewpoint. The back and forth discussions illustrate the exact reason The Circumcision Decision class was created.
What this blog post and this class has intended to be is to provide fact based information for families swimming in a sea of confusion and myths and opinions. The class is not intended to make any one choose to circ - or - not to circ. We support families to do extensive research about circumcision before making this very important decision. The opportunity to watch a circ video in class is given so that families choosing this medical procedure understands what their child will experience. If we were all to come from a place of awareness and compassion, I suspect we could support each other tremendously during these important life decisions. As I don't want to silence anyones speech, I also wonder if we have reached our limit on discussion - knowing that to 'agree to disagree' might be the outcome here. Aren't we all just trying to do the best we can for our families? If we can cut through the fear and judgement and get to facts and evidence based information - the outcome will probably be what we all want..............feeling confident and prepared to make the best circ decision for your family.
Jennifer July 7, 2012 at 03:55 am
Please do not use circs.org as a reference for circumcision information. It is run by Jake H. Waskett, a known circumfetishist. For those who don't know, he is associated with the Gilgal Society, a group of individuals who derive erotic pleasure from reading, watching and talking about circumcision.
http://circleaks.org/index.php?title=Jake_H._Waskett
Jennifer July 7, 2012 at 04:17 am
But . . . it's okay for you to impose *your* sexual and religious preferences on your son and his future partner. Double standard.
Jennifer July 7, 2012 at 04:20 am
You don't know what you don't know, Ferndale. You don't know what's missing because you never got to use it. I, on the other hand, got to keep all my parts and can't imagine being without them. So, maybe that's why there are so many females commenting. Not to mention, guys don't typically want to chat with other guys about penises, right?
Jennifer July 7, 2012 at 04:27 am
YES! Like educating yourself about ethics and human rights and your kids how easy it is to keep a normal penis clean and how to use a condom.
Kimberley A. Solo July 7, 2012 at 10:07 am
Jennifer,
You SHOULDNT tell people what to do. What gives you any right in any matter to do so. And to tell me to educate myself about how to keep a "normal" penis clean?! Im not trying to be rude in any way, but really, it people choice on what web site, to go to. and to cut or not to cut.You have your opinions as well as others. And yeah as a P.A I have NO education in any matter how to keep a my sons uncut penis or any orifice clean (insert sarcasm here). Maybe you should go look up the word opinion, you can educate yourself there!
Dennis July 7, 2012 at 02:18 pm
OMG, you mean Im not having a normal and natural sex life?? =( dang. I would think 'men' choose not to due to costs (much higher and not covered) and recovery (much longer in adults).
indebttoo July 7, 2012 at 03:23 pm
Jennifer, I want to address your use of the word "circumfetishest".  I've found in my dictionary searches that it does not exist.  From Google searches, It appears to be a pejorative "word" coined by those against circumcision. So we know by the prefix " circum" you refer to circumcision .  However, the word "fetishist" has several interesting definitions.  
Yes it can be defined as stimulus in the course of attaining sexual stimulation (your accusations about circ.org). BUT it also is defined as devotion to object, idea, etc eliciting unquestioning reverence, respect or devotion.  The definitions continue to include "fixation, mania, obsession, preoccupation & prepossession" (by way of editorial comment, i find that all these adjectives seem applicable to your discussion). You have referenced http://norm.org/lost.html as a standard supporting the cessation of circumcision.  If I chose, I could say that their fixation is no more than an opposing sexual fetish, for those who gain pleasure with all that excess, lubricated skin sliding sensually back & forth.   No accusation here, just ruminating!
Dennis July 7, 2012 at 03:58 pm
"...those who gain pleasure with all that excess, lubricated skin sliding sensually back & forth. " nicely put! Honestly, NOBODY knows the amount of 'supposed' pleasure lost, if any, since 1) everyone feels (sensory) differently, 2) anyone 'intact' doesn't know how it feels without, and 3) anyone circ'd doesn't know how it feels with. To make the claim of sufficient loss of pleasure is simply ludicrous IMO. MANY women complain men don't last long enough for them... must be all the intact guys with there 10,000+ extra nerves and 5 extra erroneous zones wrecking the Bell curve minutes. Oddly, it is almost ALL women on here fighting for intact, while almost ALL men saying otherwise. I'm close to calling penis envy on this whole discussion.
Jennifer July 8, 2012 at 12:00 am
Apparently, the concept of human rights and bioethics is something that eludes the majority here. I will leave you all with some resources to better understand the concept of autonomy and self-determination as a birth right. This is a protection that is given to our daughters (only since 1997) but not to our sons.
http://arclaw.org/resources
indebttoo July 8, 2012 at 01:17 am
I'm biting my tongue....
Kimberley A. Solo July 8, 2012 at 01:51 am
indebtoo,
Its best too. Some people need the last word to feel like they "changed the world" in some matter. People need to let this TOPIC GO! Like I said before YOUR CHILD, YOUR CHOICE! No matter what article or book you post; its all a waste of some persons' time. Because parents minds have been made up and who "are you" to tell them they are right or wrong. It shouldnt matter.
Ferndale Resident July 8, 2012 at 01:58 am
I wish I could "like" this post a thousand times over- or at least once.
B. Maurene White July 16, 2012 at 04:53 am
As an RN with 50 yrs experience, publications, including a smartphone app i4SkinHealth, FarReach.org the host site, info@farreach.org for more info. I am a long time friend and admirer of Marilyn Milos - who states circumcision is a human rights issue. Having a child is not owning him. It is not owning his penis. Everything about his body is his, including the foreskin, his to keep forever unless someone poisons him against thinking he is perfect intact. There is no 'circumcision decision' to be made at birth, there is a 'protection obligation', of every single body part and everything to do with his health. The foreskin is healthy, circumcisions not healthy it is an injury and may cause long term health problems. There are no benefits to circumcision. Harming a child to look like a circumcised father keeps the father in denial and from learning how to restore is foreskin and achieving body completion. Circumcision causes post traumatic stress disorder including panic attacks in many infants, children and adults.
What people need to let go is circumcision. As a 6,000 year old Bronze Age sacrificial ritual and method of enslavement it should be history, not contemporary medical practice. Any parent who is pro-circumcision has been severely manipulated, defrauded, and robbed. As it has no benefit circumcision is not a medical practice (Dr. James Snyder). The only valid 'circumcision decision' is that of 'uncircumcision' i.e. foreskin restoration.
B. Maurene White July 16, 2012 at 05:00 am
Dennis, women who protect the penis are hardly envious! Most are glad they were born female on this continent and thus escaped being mutilated. Why would a man be against his foreskin? Because he doesn't have one and feels he has lost something. Maybe foreskin envy is the more appropriate problem! A radio host in England has several call in and talk sessions on this issue and found it was the case. Circumcised men are very envious that intact men have greater pleasure and are more successful sexually than they are.
B. Maurene White July 16, 2012 at 05:14 am
Circumcision pain is multiplied in infants as their spinal pain blocking is not yet developed. The pseudo medical studies on prevention and cure of HIV, HPV, cervical cancer, UTI, Penile cancer and dozens of other ills have all been deconstructed and disproven. There are no medical or beneficial reasons for circumcising, it is not a medical procedure. The intact penis produces beneficial antibacterial secretions and is cleaner and more hygienic than the circumcised penis, and care is easier than dental care. The foreskin means perfect sexual pleasure for both male and female, a circumcised male causes pain, is less able to satisfy a woman and se becomes a worrisome issue for many people in 'circumcised' marriages.
Peter Griffin July 16, 2012 at 05:16 am
Hey, Betty White...no one is listening....all we here is, "blah, blah, blah". You aren't going to change the world.
Peter Griffin July 16, 2012 at 05:21 am
More sexually successful with the turtle neck pulled up over the head? Really? Most women don't like that...they say it has no personality when the head is covered. How many licks does it take to get to the center of an uncirc'd tootsie pop...let's find out....ZERO! No woman is going near that one.
Dennis July 16, 2012 at 01:02 pm
Hardly. Why would I want to look like my dog? No envy, no smegma, no bacterial issues here. I've never heard of anyone envious and your claims are subjective and without basis. I assure you that pleasure and success are not lost, and that cannot be a carte blanche statement IMO.
Poley de Prada July 17, 2012 at 05:52 pm
4x4 drifter, Women in Europe, and Scandinavians and Geishas in Japan among them best, KNOW what and how to do better with the full sensitive equipment not the maimed/reduced bits. But this whole discussion is NOT about or against circumcised sex or people who wants to be so.... But against performing such on a minor. How hard is to get that? Even if it were a "healthy a sexual preference" to some, whether perverted socially enough for it or having no idea but following a herd in 50 shames of gray mediocrity, that belongs in the realm of mature consent.
Circumcision or tattoos or any other parental preference belongs in the realm of irrevocable and irreparable Child abuse!
Peter Griffin July 17, 2012 at 06:10 pm
Ohhhhhhhh, how clever you are to try and botch my name.
And, I don't want some European, Scandinavian, Geisha girl -- I like normal corn fed mid western girls (to put it nicely). Most US women don't want to see the disaster of an uncirc'd unit. BTW, you are wrong, circumcision is not child abuse. Child abuse is telling your son that you didn't circumcise him because you were trying to make a statement with him -- get over your holier than thou attitude.
Christopher July 17, 2012 at 06:56 pm
While you were writting your comment 25 teenage girls got nose jobs.
Christopher July 17, 2012 at 06:58 pm
The anti-circumcision crowd is the same group that thinks vaccines are linked to autism. They need a crusade in their life, they need to feel like they are 'saving the children'.
Busybodies.
Christopher July 17, 2012 at 07:00 pm
How do you know that you wouldn't be unhappily uncircumcized? Maybe you're just an unhappy person?
Christopher July 17, 2012 at 07:02 pm
I enjoy the politics of language. Notice that they use words like "mutilate". Was I mutilated when they took my appendix out?
Christopher July 17, 2012 at 07:03 pm
I love that 3 women and convinced they know exactly how painful it is.
Christopher July 17, 2012 at 07:07 pm
To use a slight variation of what Representative Lisa Brown (D-West Bloomfield) said - I'm flattered that you're all so interested in my p%$#@, but no thank you!
*I wasn't sure if Patch would let that word go through.
Christopher July 17, 2012 at 07:16 pm
Alright, one last post and then I gotta go. This is just too funny. So the author is the owner of an alternative birthing center who profits from every birth that doesn't happen in a hospital. One of the reasons you might want to have your baby in a hospital (there are about 1,000) is that if you want to have a circumcision performed it's smartest to have it done in a sterile environment by and experienced practitioner with the resources nearby in case of emergency...which she doesn't have.
Ergo, self-serving bunk delivered as news.
Peter Griffin July 17, 2012 at 07:33 pm
Christopher - last post....best I have read yet. You are also right in how it's some women saying how much it hurts....that had me puzzled too. They must hate moms who get their baby girls' ears pierced.
Kristin Bull (Editor) July 17, 2012 at 07:43 pm
Thanks to all of you for this often-thoughtful, sometimes humorous discourse. Before the conversation gets even more off-topic, we're closing down the comments on this blog post. We appreciate your opinions.
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Barbara Barnes June 14, 2013 at 03:01 pm
The date is June 20th. Call Barbara Barnes LMSW at 248 651-9097 to reserve you place at the FirstRead More Congregational Church, 1315 N. Pine St, Rochester.
Scot Beaton June 12, 2013 at 11:31 pm
Hugo... the road, bridge, road right of way: The Road Commission for Oakland County (RCOC)... theRead More aesthetic black fence... Rochester Hills... let's assume there waiting for an insurance claim to go through or debating who pays. Thanks for your post. You could call the Mayor, but he is in Istanbul Turkey... looking over some plans for a new shopping mall they want to build in an historic park. Makes perfectly good sense this is the same Mayor who supported tearing down a historic house on Rochester Road to build a new strip mall... and turning Office Research Technology zoning into a Wal-Mart.
Beverly June 13, 2013 at 12:02 pm
Yes I have been wondering too...I am going to use the RCOC website and see if they will respond
Clara T June 12, 2013 at 10:05 pm
Yes, the Oakland Press had this list.
Clara T June 12, 2013 at 10:07 pm
Can you please provide the names of the individuals representing Lawrence Tech, Rochester College,Read More RCS school board, Crittenton?
Jmamo June 14, 2013 at 09:12 am
It's just a con job on the tax payers. Non productive for Rochester Hills but Barnett will smileRead More with a political knife in the residents back. This really should be brought up by the citizens and not an absent mayor.