Men Work Toward A Sobering Lifestyle at Rochester Hills Group Home

Sporting MSU sweatshirts, Detroit Pistons caps and other comfortable attire as they prepare morning coffee in their kitchen, the young, athletically built men resemble those at any college fraternity house.

Or maybe they could be close-knit brothers.

They chat about sports scores and happenings, laugh and tease about who's got garbage duty and stroll into the living room to watch ESPN while sipping their java.

But they're not fraternity pals or brothers. Nor are they always in a lighthearted mood or goofing off.

These young men likely are on the most serious mission of their lives: overcoming their drug and alcohol addictions.

They are residents of a Sober Living home in Rochester Hills. Called the "Weber House," it's one of three facilities in Metro Detroit that opened four months ago to house those with drug or alcohol dependencies. The other two are in Sterling Heights and Shelby Township (for women).

The home, located east of Adams on Walton Boulevard near the fire station, looks like any upscale, suburban home, complete with a large kitchen, a deck, a basketball hoop in the driveway, living room with huge flat-screen television, gas fireplace, workout room and more. All in all, it's a comfortable transition haven to help the residents bridge their time from a medical rehab facility to their lives in the community.

"There's a demand for this type of facility," said Dr. Paul Smith, owner and president of Rochester Hills-based Abaris Behavioral Health, 1202 Walton Blvd., and its Sober Living facilities. Abaris' 50-person staff sees about 4,500 clients per year for everything from anger management to substance abuse. The company has three out-patient clinics in Rochester Hills, Novi and Shelby Township. The Sober Living homes each house up to six residents at a time and welcome those aged 18 and up.

As for legal restrictions and housing rules, Smith said each township has its own code and standards. The homes are licensed by the state and Smith is now working with the Commission on Accreditation of Rehabilitation Facilities, a national certification body with stringent credentialing standards.

The homes' neighbors find the facilities generally quiet. "Sober Living residents are the communities' brothers and sisters; they are our 'family members,' " Smith said. "So we want them here in our community."

How do these homes differ from a halfway house or other therapeutic programs?

"We found that people who were in detoxification or rehab programs, often up to 12 times, would go right back into the community too soon," said Smith. "Often, if they're in a halfway house that's monitored loosely, they won't be successful in recovery because they continue to return to their old homes, see the same people, live the same lives.

"Here, they're away from high-risk situations."

In addition, the Sober Living program offers structure, physical-fitness opportunities, nutritional counseling and assistance with job searches, college enrollment and more.

Robert Is On the Mend

 One of the Rochester Hills' Sober Living home's residents is 27-year-old  "Robert" (this is not his true name, as he wished to remain anonymous for this interview). He enrolled himself in a recovery program last August in Brighton, where he met Smith. Eventually, Robert made his way to Sober Living.

Robert, who grew up in the Rochester Hills area, has had issues with alcohol since the age of 21.

"I never knew how bad it was until I tried to stop," he said.

He and the other Rochester Hills residents are finding that recovery — living a sober lifestyle — often requires change in several life domains. Sober Living homes nurture stability, personal growth, and a more self-determined, independent and deliberate life.

To facilitate change, Sober Living helps residents develop social responsibility and more effective social skills. Here, they have access to clinical services, individual and family therapy, group therapy, psychiatry and addiction medicine.      

Why the variety of programs? While Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous are absolutely part of recovery, said Smith, more is needed. 

"It takes a significant personality change to overcome addiction. If you look at, say AA's first step, it's about the substance. The rest of the steps are about change." 

At this time, Sober Living residency fees are not covered by insurance, but, said Smith, "we are hoping to change that this spring." Most insurance companies cover clinical care.

Blending the Old with the New

Smith says the Sober Living concept has been around since the 1800s.

"There was more of a focus on religion back then," he said. "Today, we provide access into several services and offer traditional AA/12-step methodologies as well as new programs." 

The staff performs weekly urinalysis on its clients. There are weekday and weekend curfews. If rules are broken, clients must go into what Smith calls a "restricted mode."  "They'll lose their phone, laptop, car — that kind of thing," explained Smith, who was a researcher and clinician at Wayne State University in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Neurosciences before opening Abaris.

Smith has seen his business grow substantially. According to the U.S. Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, approximately 27 million Americans either use illicit drugs regularly or are "heavy drinkers." Of these, almost 16 million are estimated to need immediate treatment. 

Why the avalanche of cases in drug and alcohol addiction? Many factors contribute, said Smith.

"Americans work longer hours and have less vacation than any other country," he said. "We're more motivated, more competitive, more materialistic, and feel there are more things to acquire."

That, he said, can add up to stress, which can lead to drug and alcohol abuse. "There are more psychologists practicing in the United States than in the rest of the world combined."

Several other aspects also add to the need for more recovery facilities such as Sober Living. 

"Compared to 30 years ago, heroin is cheaper and far more powerful than it was," said Smith. "It's more accessible, too."

The drug knows no borders, he added. "Our clients are from Birmingham, West Bloomfield, all over, and often come from successful families."

An addiction can start when a patient is taking a prescribed painkiller such as Vicodin, he explained. "Once they run out, they use their parents, or grandparents' drugs. And many doctors prescribe it in large amounts for long periods of time without checking in with the patient. People become dependent, they shop doctors, get new perscriptionss — that's addiction."

A 2009 survey from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention shows that prescription drug abuse is on the rise.

Smith said he's also seeing more and more of the elderly population become addicted on pain medications. 

It's also remarkably easy to find heroin now, he said.

"When I grew up, we didn't know anyone who had heroin," Smith said, "but now, you can find contacts pretty quickly." He said high school kids are either snorting it, smoking it or injecting it.  

Robert's Life Lessons

"I became addicted to alcohol the way many do," said Robert, who attends four AA meetings per week. "First, I became dependent on alcohol for social reasons," he said, "then it progressed. I crossed a line. I couldn't go without it for some reason unknown to myself."

Smith said that parents and other role models can help educate today's youth who are on the threshold of trying drugs and alcohol.

"When someone is young and they try drugs or alcohol for the first time, it may not be a bad experience to them," Smith explained. "So then they say, 'This isn't so bad' and they do it again. And then again. Then they create a dependence that's stronger than their will, and it starts to impair them in school, socially, their personal care, etc."

Smith's team includes Ph.D Robert Kender, who oversees group and individual therapy at the house. "I do individual therapy as much as three or four times a week, depending on the need," he said.  

The Sober Living staff also includes Bradley Scott, a recovering alcoholic who is the program's director. He's working on his master's degree in addiction studies. 

"These addictions often turn into life or death situations," said Scott, who has been in recovery for eight years. For him, alcohol was the answer to his social phobias. "When I was in junior high and high school, I drank to get over my social fears," he said. "Later in life, the drinking became a problem." 

Scott had a career in sales, but now, with additional schooling, he works to help those with addictions. 

Robert, who's been sober for four months, said he's hopeful about his future. "I was on a downward spiral," he said. "Other people were getting hurt. I was tired of letting people down, and I couldn't take it anymore. I knew I needed help."

Parental Advice

Robert offers this advice to parents: Consider emphasizing more self-discipline in yourselves and in your children.

"I've had to have a lot of discipline," he said, "to maintain my sobriety." He added, too, that the harsh reality of recovery is that it's up to the addict.  "Parents can't help their addicted kid. Recovery is on the kid himself." 

For those parents who are beginning to see their children trying drugs or alcohol, Smith suggests they seek help.

"I see parents who say their kids are drinking or smoking pot because that's what their peers  are doing. But that's not the norm, and if there's a pattern, then parents should take it seriously. It's not just 'kids being kids.' "

As for Sober Living's residents,  they've sadly crossed (many when "kids") the line into addiction.

"They're learning that the only way to really recover is to change," said Smith.  "Recovery is about change. It's not just abstaining from substances, it's a lifestyle change. When they leave here, they're not just clean, they are different."

TIPS FOR A SOBER SEASON

Robert Kender of Abaris Behavioral Health offers these common-sense tips for those who wish to avoid drinking during the holidays:

• Avoid parties where you know there's drinking going on, or go with someone who's committed with you to staying sober.
• Organize a sober party. For instance, Sober Living is holding a bowling gathering.
• Often, AA or NA groups will have fun events scheduled.