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Health & Fitness

My Aging Parents: Patient Advocate Document

This is a decision one makes based on their personal beliefs and desires. This is not a debate about what to do in extreme cases; it is a discussion on how you make your intentions known.

I remember the story of Karen Ann Quinlan (March 1954 – June 1985) who went into a coma at the age of 21 and the debate of what to do lasted for 10 years.  All of the family members stood their ground for what they thought was right and what they believed Karen would have wanted, unfortunately they did not all agree.  It played out in the media and in our court system.  It would have been great to been able to ask Karen what she would have wanted; then the family would not have had to carry of all the burden and guilt.  In the end she died and it was a heart breaking tragic story.

For 23 years Rom Houben was ­imprisoned in his own body.  He saw his doctors and nurses as they visited him during their daily rounds; he listened to the conversations; he heard his mother deliver the news to him that his father had died.  But he could do nothing.  He was unable to communicate with his doctors or family, he could only listen.  Doctors presumed he was in a vegetative state following a near-fatal car crash in 1983.  They believed he could feel nothing and hear nothing.  Then a doctor changed all of that; he is paralyzed, but conscious and able to communicate.  It was a happy ending.

www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/nov/23/man-trapped-coma-23-years

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The point of these two stories is that we really do not know what the future holds, but we should have plans for potential major events.  Would we accept these events in either of these extreme cases in our own personal life?  Obviously this is a decision one makes based on their personal beliefs and desires.  This is not a debate about what to do in either of these cases; it is a discussion on how you make your intentions known.  How do you legally communicate your intentions if you cannot talk?

In reviewing all of the documents my parents have to ensure all is up to date and accurately reflects all of their intentions for a variety of subjects; financials, investments, will, budget and their Patient Advocate Document.  When I looked at the Patient Advocate Document it was very dated with old addresses and names and desperately needed an update.  I believed it would not stand legal review and it was important to understand in detail their personal intentions and get them documented.

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I took my own personal Patient Advocate Document and revised it to fit their situation.  We sat down over several sessions to ensure they knew what they intended to do in these situations.  Basically the document we chose asks 3 separate questions with them documenting the choice they personally declared in each situation.  All of my siblings were involved in the discussions for informational purposes, but it was my parents own personal decision based on their beliefs and wishes.  After Easter Dinner we had a “signing party” to fully execute their individual Patient Advocate Documents and make it clearly known what their intentions are.

This is a relief for the family in a medical emergency situation to have these decisions already made and legally documented.  It relieves the burden and guilt of anyone making the wrong decision; it truly is a great tool to communicate when you cannot.  This is just another form of independence my parents have to clearly communicate what they want and being in control when a difficult decision needs to be made.  We have put an original copy of this Patient Advocate Document in their “Vial of Life” packet I talked about in my last posting.

I personally believe everyone needs a Patient Advocate Document for themselves and it needs to be reviewed and updated as life changes.  We never know what medical emergency is in our future and it is an important freedom for our spouse, parents, children or other family members from making these hard decisions during a very stressful time.  We have encouraged all of our family members to put one in place for themselves.

I have posted a PDF file of an example Patient Advocate Document for your review.  Please keep in mind this is only an example, you need to consult with your attorney to ensure you create a legal binding document that works for you and your personal situation.  I thought it was of value to share this document to understand the approach.

At our family “signing party” this past weekend I saw my parents happy and relieved that we went through this process and it was just another way we are showing them respect.  It was a way in letting them be independent as they are feeling more dependent due to their aging and medical challenges.

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