I cound not agree more with your article. I personally feel good manners and common curiosity are lost in todays society.People are in a hurry and not always willing to give others the benefit of the doubt. I for one am practicing what I preach, hoping it rubs off on to others.

Thank you, Meredith. Common courtesy and respect seem to be waning. It's much easier to make scarcastic and hurtful comments in a blog than in a face to face conversation. Your call to civility is a great reminder!

Rudeness, insensitivity, the "me" factor, and no respect unfortunate are abundant today. We have seen it on blogs, on our streets and in our neighborhoods. All anyone can do is lead by example. I think if people had to use their names in blogs, some of this would stop. And I agree with Pat Botkin, because I think many people hide behind this fact and it is not a "face to face" where they would be accountable and responsible for their remarks as the source. People have gotten away from respect.
Let's hope that if enough people continue to practice common courtesy and respect, others will follow.

Thank you Meredith for speaking up! I was beginning to think there was very little civility left in this town. Trying to have a conversation about anything lately has become a contact sport, where name calling has replaced intellectual discussion. I know I've tried to bring up the subject a number of times, but to no avail. (At least no one called me a name for doing so; so I guess that's not all bad, 'eh?) When encountering one of these ridiculous offenders, all I can think of is, "Seriously?? Are we in third grade?" Sad fact is, the worst offenders don't realize that their valuable (and perhaps even 'valid') opinion are completely cheapened by such childish behavior. Wake up neighbors... the time is NOW to stop being so angry about life and realize we are all in this together. Keep acting like children, and you'll get the result they do... 'someone else' making your decisions for you.

Meredith,

Well written and a great request to be civil. I have been blogging on the Patch for almost a year now and like you have been amazed of the attacks on people from other citizens. Most come from the false names that people set up to spew their hate.

I believe if we all post our real names, fill out our profiles so we can understand who we are having a conversation with and understand their background and perspective leads to a meaningful dialog. Due to the controversial subjects I choose to blog and discuss the personal attacks were a surprise at first, then I realized it is from people with hidden agendas and are afraid.

Keep up the blogging and ignore the people who act childish, they will eventually give up because they just become meaningless noise and add nothing to the conversation.

Also, Daryl, I do agree that many hateful comments come from "anonymous" contributors. However, I was shocked to read some very cruel comments written by prominent figures in our community. It is very disappointing to me that some local small business owners and community leaders would choose to represent themselves (and our city) in that way. The old adage, "sticks and stones may break my bones..." is only true to a certain extent. Our words really CAN have an impact, and it is up to each of us to decide whether that impact will be positive or negative. Rochester-Rochester Hills is a wonderful area, full of good people. I just hope that more of these good people start to speak up so that our community will continue to have a positive reputation.

Hold on a minute - Daryl Patrishkoff to Scot Beaton
"Scot,

As usual, you spew lots of misinformation and do not even read the post and comment on what it is about. You add nothing to the conversation; as usual you are just meaningless noise and attack anyone who has a different opinion than you.

Are you going to do your normal trick and add some picture to the post and just keep posting many words on false info and not on subject? You are just making a fool of yourself, stop emailing me and just go away."

Daryl, remember that comment about glass houses?

Bertram,

You are a usual false name person, spew some statements that have no basis nor tell the whole story.

My dialog with Scot was asking him to stop emailing me with hate emails with plenty of false accusations. I did this by email many times, he would not stop, and then I made my request publically. He had many personal attacks on my comments and I responded with your statement above, I was defending myself from his attacks.

The good news is he has stopped, which was my only request. Now you enter the scene as a false name making accusations without any facts. Come out of hiding and have an adult conversation.

This is about civility --respect, politeness, acts of kindness, gratitude, acknowledging the other person with manners--and it is not about this slippery slope this is now heading down. Words and actions have impact and we are looking to a community where we can accomplish the same things, agree to disagree but do it with respect. We need role models and we need persons to lead by example. We need people to apologize, people to forgive and people to recognize there is more than a "me" out there-we need more respect and it can start with everyone.

Meredith, thanks for the post 'civility' a great conversation for debate especially around the holiday season. Many recommend don't bring up politics at family gatherings, we are a divided nation.

Kristin Bull Editor Rochester Patch --my opinion, We are very lucky to have her as an editor of our community online newspaper. Happy Holidays Kristin, I look forward to the Rochester Patch next year!

Pseudonym posts, Meredith I hope the Patch will never mandate full exposure to those who take the time to express a fact or an opinion. There are hundreds of reasons, I own my own business, I have nothing to lose except a future advertising client. But others maybe not so lucky -- full disclosures could cost them their job. Just one of those 'hundreds of reasons.' Personally I respect all opinions, only because I respect the constitution of the United States of America.

Name Calling -- Meredith my opinion, we're all adults the maturity level varies... but that's what great about the Patch. A great example... When one posts a "right-wing" opinion that sounds identical to something Shawn Hannity would say; and my personal comeback to that comment is... "WOW I tittle you the "Shawn Hannity' of Rochester." And their response are words like you are the town fool or your comments are meaningless noise and add nothing to the conversation. Meredith who is the adult that shows the 'maturity' in that conversation?

Personal Opinion -- Meredith were all entitled to one. When you post a blog on public education and claim of system is just as good as Denmark if you exclude children who live in urban areas one could conclude your live in a suburban bubble who refuses to address the problem. Or you won't vote yes for an art institute mileage only because its south of eight mile, one could consider that comment racist. Or you think it's OK to bully gays in high school because you're standing up for your religious beliefs one could consider your legislative proposal bigotry... is this name calling or Patch blogs that continue to call those out who don't stand up for the basic rights of humanity.

“You are entitled to your opinion. But you are not entitled to your own facts.” -- Daniel Patrick Moynihan

Meredith, when Al Gore invented the internet... LOL, one very important point he left out... not everything you read is true! A great example... When one doesn't first take the time to even read the Rochester Hills or OPC budgets, and then compares them to the mismanagement of the municipal budgets of Detroit or Pontiac and then proclaim Rochester Hills is on a fast tract to going out of business... I take a personal affront to the outstanding fiscal management of our dedicated employees at city hall. As a former council member... still very proud of our community and its municipal employees -- those who published insulting misinformation; I will continue to call them out on it with the utmost civility.

Meredith, thanks for the post -- one final note if the Patch was a laundry list of kumbaya moments and thoughts it would be boring. Happy Holidays to all thanks for all your posts.

There is no place for name calling, insults, etc... in any forum. It just shows a lack of maturity. I also don't feel that someone needs to publish their full name to be credible. The ideas and statements should speak for themselves. As Scott pointed out, there are alot of reasons people can't use their full names. Candidly, I don't see added the value of names when I don't know them. Unless it is someone known in the public sector, there is no context added.

Doug, I agree.

Thanks, Meredith and others for airing these thoughts about civility, blogging and anonymity. These are issues I have been facing since starting Rochester Patch a little more than two years ago. It's so easy to be discouraged by hateful comments directed at those whom I have come to know as part of the Patch community. I try hard to moderate, but a lot of the times have to let you all moderate your own blogs and comment threads - a task which I am proud to say you all do so well!
For me, it comes down to this: I have much more respect for those readers who post comments that are civil and mature, regardless of whether they use their real names. For example, I don't know who "doug" is, but I have come to know that when he comments on something, it's not without reason or respect for the conversation at hand.
Thanks, Scot, by the way, for the holiday well-wishes; right back at you.

Can't we all just get along? Express your opinions, however diverse. No whining.

Merry Christmas. Happy Hanukkah.

This is my last comment on this topic, as I am not interested in engaging in a battle over semantics. It is exhausting and defeats the whole purpose of this post. To reiterate, I honestly believe that we should exchange differing ideas and opinions. That's how we learn to see an issue from a different perspective, that's how we grow as a society, and that's how we achieve our goals as a community. However, when this exchange degenerates into a callous "war of words", complete with insults and accusations, it is no longer a true "exchange of ideas." It becomes a verbal fistfight, usually between two or three individuals, that simply muddies the waters for those of us who are trying to have a real conversation about a topic at hand. If others want to join the conversation, they have to sift through countless inflammatory (and frequently off-topic) comments. In my opinion, these types of comments only detract from the topic and should perhaps be part of a personal conversation between the involved individuals.

Of course, this is just my opinion. Of course, everyone is entitled to free speech and can post whatever they want. I just think that we've lost sight of how to engage in respectful discourse. It is possible to state an opinion (whatever it is) without being rude and inflammatory. This isn't eternal optimism, nor is it a "kumbaya" moment. It's simply common courtesy. Thanks for everyone who took the time to read my post!